Happy to report that I’m alive (see Day 2 post). Still got one foot on the strugs bus, but things seem to be pointing toward survival. At least in this very moment in time.

Turns out that my life outlook whips back and forth pretty violently come Day 4. One moment I’m deeply rooted in the Kill All The Things phase, next I’ve moved on to legitimately enjoying the arctic breeze on my face — because life is beautiful, ain’t it? SHUT UP DON’T LOOK AT ME GIVE ME THAT MUFFIN TOP YES JUST THE TOP. Mixed bag today, folks. Mixed bag.

In an effort to gain control over whatever sort of demons are trying to take over my body, captured a few takeaways from four days strapped to this rollercoaster:

• Go hard with the group text with your fellow Whole30 pals. No friends joining you this go ‘round? Let me know — we’ll welcome you with open arms into our motley crew. Gives us a place we can truly be ourselves. Our struggle busin’, snarky selves. We’ll soon celebrate victories together — until then, nah.
• Don’t eat an apple for lunch. Just an apple. You emerge a monster in a human body merely 30 minutes later.
• Stop following Milk Bar on instagram.
• Hungry when you know you shouldn’t be? Pick up that water bottle. Make some tea. Crack open a La Croix. Cravings seem to magically disappear with that lil trick.
• Jot down what you want to make happen the next day. I use my handy Day By Day book as a forcing mechanism for this one. Mother Melissa asks me “what will you do tomorrow” as a way to hold us accountable for taking some action to make the next day better than the last. I blindly do what she tells me.
• Speaking of Day By Day, the hubs and I started a read aloud each morning. A la Mother Goose. Helpful framing for the day ahead — so far Melissa’s words have been eerily spot on … at no one’s surprise.
• Move your body. Do that in whatever sort of way brings you joy. Today was my first workout of 2018 (insert embarrassed emoji) and despite my deepest desire to nestle myself even further into my couch to continue to my sugar withdrawal pity party — got my butt to class. My legs feel detached at the moment, but LAWD I’m glad I went. Quick 45 minute reminder that Tiger Blood’s somewhere on the horizon.

As I head into my first Whole30 weekend, can’t help but be a wee bit terrified given the ghosts of weekends past. Weekends are for boozy brunches, right? Bottles of wine with my risotto, yeah?

Ooof.

Day 5, here’s looking at you, kid.